It's unbearable.

I have a heavy heart. I can't get over it. I can't move on. I'm too much traumatized by what's happening between us. I can't understand his actions. I'm becoming narrow-minded person. I am in so much pain right now. Even crying can't help me. Even my dearest friends can't make me laugh. It may seem that I am overreacting but this is too much. The pain, it's killing me. This is my first time I ever felt this. The feeling of being unwanted by the person you loved the most. Letting this out is not easy. It will never be easy. I hate goodbyes but I have many of those. I'm losing all my hopes. I'm starting to lose myself.

I'm hurt.

He came home early this morning and I haven't receive any of his text as of this moment. I know that I'm not the reason why he's here but am I being too selfish for asking for just one text message from him? I am really hurt because of that action. It makes me realize that there's before and there's after.. nothing stays the same as it was. Something happened before this but I couldn't believe that he is doing this. Two of my very close friends told me that I should not wait, or assume that he will send a text message but I just can't help it. All I know is that I miss him. I want to see him. BUt I guess, he doesn't want to see me. Or keep in touch either. I know, I'm so pathetic, desperate. But this is what I feel.  Right now, I'm not just hurt. But disappointed.. and depressed. This is most hurtful thing he did to me, intentionally or not. The pain is tearing me apart.