there are no HAPPY ENDINGS

matapos ang lahat ng mga nangyari. nag-usap na kami. sa FS. mahaba eh. cnclusion: WALA NA TALAGA. kakalimutan na daw niya ako. 

oki.sabi ko oki. kalimutan na nga niya ako. tuwing naaalala daw niya ako nasasaktan siya eh. so kalimutan na nga niya ako.isipin na lang niya na gising na siya sa bangungot nabinigay ko sa kanya. gusto kong manisi. gusto kong manumbat. kasi alam ko naman na sa akin din naman lahat babagsak so para saan pa un di ba? 

meron unfair pero anong magagawa ko. may kanya kanya kaming takbo ng pag-iisip. ako lang ung naglalabas ng sama ng loob, siya, nakikinig lang. hindi naman ako manghuhula kung anu ung nararamdaman niya. oo, may napapansin ko na kakaiba ung kilos niya pero iba pa rin kung lama mo talaga ung dahilan kung bakit ganoon, di ba? 

haaay armine. kalokohan na to. tapusin na nga. sabi niya nga, kung mahal niyo mana ang isat isa pero lumalayo ung isa, wala din naman mangyayari eh. tama. siya. WALANG MANGYAYARI.at WALA NA NGANG MANYAYARI. pero wait. kasalanan ko nga lang ba kung bakit aako nang-iwan? naging makasarili nga ba ako? manhid? hindi ko alam. alam ko hindi niyo din alam kasi hindi naman kayo totally kasali sa amin eh. ako at siya lang ang makakasagot nun. na malamang, hindi na masagot forever. 

hindi ko to inaasahan. pero wala eh, sabi nga. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. eto na un. punyeta. eto na un kinakatakutan ko. pero wala eh. wala na. hhmm. kalokohan na kung paulit2 kong ibabalog ung mga nararamdaman ko sa bawat ginagawa namin so ito na ung huli. tama na. ang tanga2 ko na masyado eh. sobrang tanga. tama nang ito na ang huling katangahan na gawin ko. besides. SOCIAL SITE ito, hindi DRAMA SITE. dun na lang ako sa isa kong blogsite. kung gusto niyo malaman.PM me. nga pala, baka idelete ko na ung FS ko. para wala na siyang dahilan para iview at mag leave ng message, para wala na din updates. siguro, putulin ko na din ung communication ko sa pinsan niya. para wala na talaga. pero. sabi nga sa the road YOU FORGET WHAT YOU WANT TO REMEMBER AND YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU WANT TO FORGET. totoo to. pero tama na. hindi na pwede.

No Matter What It Takes

I

1.  “Why pursue changing the world if you can’t even change yourself? Don’t you know that you should start with yourself since you’re the one who is causing all the problems in our society? Lack of discipline and initiative of the Filipinos are the main reason why we are not successful. I don't think that that kind of approach will be effective. We should try something which is already tested.” I said firmly after a long pause.
2. “Don't talk like you're perfect. I want our advertisement to be in that way. We are not copycats here.  Just do what I said. No buts. Meeting adjourned.” Kevin answered.

 

3. That part of the conversation still echoed in my mind. I could not get over it. I could not believe how the Ateneo gave the Suma Cum Laude title to him. His answer was really ridiculous. I hated the way he looked at me; it was like I was a sore loser.  I really can’t believe that he is my boss. Of all people, why him? I don’t know what God’s plans are but I really hate His plan on making me work in the same department with him. I strongly believe in karma but I did not know that it would hit me more than I had expected.
4. As I retreated back to my cubicle, there was only one question running in my mind. “Why on earth am I near again to Mr. Kyle Kenvick “Kevin” Hernandez who caused me too much pain?” I sat on my chair and remembered the past; our past that made me a different from who I used to be when he is around.

 

5. We were neighbors before and our parents are the best of friends. At first, we were like cats and dogs, always fighting and mocking each other. But when we set our feet in the high school as freshmen, everything changed. One day, I was alone in the canteen because no one wanted to eat with me. They said that they do not like me because I was such a spoiled brat for it would seem that I had everything I have everything. I could not understand what they were talking about so I just left them. I did not want them to see me crying so I ran as far as I could until I found myself sitting in the old swing at the back of our school. I cried my heart out there until I felt that someone was looking at me. It was Kevin. He was carrying a cone of raspberry ice cream, my favorite ice cream flavor. He looked like he was really worried. His eyes showed that he was bothered with what was happening to me.

 

6. “Why are you crying?” Kevin asked me as he walked towards me.
7. “Oh, something just went into my eyes.” I answered, as I wept my tears.
8. “Since when did you become a liar?”
9. “What are you talking about?”
10. “Come on Armine. I saw what happened at the canteen. I was sitting three rows behind you.”
11. “Oh.” I sighed.
12. “Here,” He gave me the ice cream he was holding. “Eat your heart out with your favorite ice cream instead of crying. You look like mad dog.” He said seriously.
13. “KEVIN!” I shouted. “I do not look like a mad dog and I don’t want your ice cream!”
14. “Hey Armine, I was just kidding. Just don’t cry again. It makes me sad.” He said.
15. Puzzled, I stared at him and asked “Sad? But why? Isn’t that you’re always me cry?”
16. “It is not the same Armine. Look, let’s not talk about this. It’s almost time. Eat this before it melts.”
17. “All right. Thanks Kevin. Let’s go.”

 

18. I was still puzzled on what had happened that day. Kevin was never like that. I just instilled in my mind that Kevin matured because of watching One Tree Hill and The Orange County. At least, we are both happy now. No fights, no yells. As days passed by, we went along well. We sat on the bus next to each other and he fetched me everyday. Well, I thought that everything will run smoothly between the two of us because of the changes that happened but I was wrong.
19. He did something to me when we were in our senior year. It was our break time and I had to go to the library to do my homework for literacy. Ten minutes before our next subject, I went back to our classroom and put my notebook on my desk. When I opened my bag, I saw a slimy snake crawling on my things. I freaked out, yelled “SNAKE!” and disturbed the whole class. I hate snakes a lot because they make me feel creepy. I was not thinking that our Numeracy teacher is a terror teacher so I just shouted. What can I do? I was shocked.  My numeracy teacher got so mad at me for interrupting the class and asked me to go to the discipline’s office immediately and tell the officer-in-charge what I did. I was still shocked as I walked towards the door.
20.  Well, I thought that my bad luck will end there until one of my classmates tripped me that made me fall with my face flat on the floor. Of course, everyone laughed. I stood up and looked at Kevin. He was laughing too. I walked ahead in the corridors with my head raised up and tried to forget my fall. I did not cry because I know that I did not do something wrong. I know that what I did is expected, especially if you have phobia for snakes.
21. As soon as I entered the discipline’s office, I explain to the officer in charge what really happened. He did not believe me so he called one of my classmates, Kevin. I thought that I will be saved there because he knew that I was in the library but I was wrong again. He said the complete opposite of what happened. I was so shocked that I started to cry. I never though that Kevin would tell such a lie that would hurt me a lot. Because of Kevin’s statement, I was sent to detention. I was so humiliated and furious about what happened. I forgot the snake in my bag but not what Kelly did. It hurt too much which seeing him everyday is unbearable. I thought that we’re friends. I thought we could be more than just friends. Well, I was undeniably wrong.
22. After what happened, I told my parents that I want to study to another school so they sent me to the one of the finest university in the country. I studied at De La Salle University- Manila and took up Advertising Management. I took this because I have that passion for influencing other people and changing their lifestyles. I grew up in a world of luxury and that made people think that I was like any other rich girls who didn’t know how to live a normal life. Well, they were all wrong. I can do household chores because my parents instilled in my mind that I should not always depend on money since it is not forever. I wanted to influence other people through the means of advertisements. I really admire those commercials that made a difference and people change their lifestyle, especially the Filipinos.
23. After my graduation, I immediately submitted a résumé to Advertise and Rise Corporation. It is the most prestigious advertising company in the country and is located at the heart of Makati. It has produced many great advertisements and commercials that really clicked. It made all the products very saleable and the models/endorsers famous which made all the producers, businessmen and even politicians ask the company to make them advertisements. I was very determined to get a job from that company and be its boss in the future. I know that this company will help me achieve my dream.
24. After a lot of interviews and screenings, I got the job I wanted badly, creative assistant. I was really surprised and excited for my first day in my first job. On my first day, I dressed like a yuppie. Of course, I wanted to impress my officemates. After asking the receptionist in the main lobby of Advertise and Rise Corporation where the Creative Department was, I instantly went straight ahead to my floor and looked for Mr. H or Mr. Hernandez.
25. At first, I thought of Kevin, but I immediately erased it in my mind because as far as I can remember, his family migrated to New Zealand for good because of financial problems. I imagined Mr. H as an old man who wears a hearing aid and uses a cane to support his legs. I giggled as I entered his office. It was an elegant office. It is like what you see in a fashion magazine for houses in Paris. Its interior is very unique but a brilliant one can easily notice that it is the main office because of the products that are carefully displayed on the right side of the office.
26. “Captivated by my office and you lost your tongue?” said Mr. H while facing the huge window.
27. I blushed. But I immediately composed myself and answer “No sir. Good Morning Mr. H”
28.  “Good Morning. Sit down”, he answered without turning his back. “What is your name?” he asked after a long pause
29. “I am Amiela Arineya P. Mercado”
30. “Your name is too long.”
31. “You can call me Armine.”
32. “How old are you?”
33. “I’m turning 20”
34. “Where did you graduate?”
35. “De La Salle University-Manila”
36. “Ahh. The rival of my school”
37. “He is from the blue side” I said to myself
38. “Why are you here?”
39. “I am here because I want to influence people to change themselves to live in a better place.”
40. “Are you an activist?”
41. “No sir. I just have this vision in life that I must promote self-change because of my observations in the current situation in this country”
42. “Oh, are you Mother Earth?”
43. “Again, Sir?”
44. “Nothing. I said, you’re still pretty raspberry ice cream addict.”
45. I froze. Did he really say raspberry? Is my boss the guy from my past? “Kyle Kenvick Hernandez??”
46. “Bingo!” he answered as he turned his back. His smile was still enchanting.
47. “Why on earth are you here?” I retorted.
48. “Why on earth am I here? It is simply because I am your boss, sweetie. Welcome to Advertise and Rise, your only way to good fortune. Aren’t you happy that we’re together again?” He smilingly said. His eyes were sparkling.
49. “Happy? Are you kidding me? Come on. Give me a break. Don’t start with me. I had enough of your foolishness. Where is the real Mr. H?”
50. “Well, he is right in front of you.”
51. “Oh my goodness.”
52. “Why? Let me make it up to you.”
53. “Make up? I will never forget what you did to me. You messed my last year in high school.”
54. “I know. I am really sorry. If you only knew what is the real reason behind it.”
55. “Let’s stop this nonsense conversation.”
56. “But Armine.”
57. “What do you want me to do Mr. H?”
58.  “Oh. All right then. Go to the Marketing Department and get the new products”
59. “Okay sir. But where is the Marketing Department?”
60. “I don’t know. I am pretty sure I did not eat it”
61. “Thank you Sir”

 

62. After leaving the office, I immediately went to the ladies’ room and shouted my heart out. I thought that I will be away from him from the rest of my life since we studied college at different schools and his family migrated to New Zealand. But look how destiny works! We were on the same company. He’s the boss and I’m the employee. Oh no. God save me.

 

63. I was really shocked for our first meeting. I could not get over it so I immediately went to the nearest FIC ice cream parlor and bought a two scoop raspberry ice cream. It’s my comfort food. Eating it made me calm and somehow forgot my problem. It helped me avoid my uneasiness. But this one, I said to myself, is impossible to escape. I am working under the man I loathe the most. How can I do my job if I know that he’s always there? If I see him, I always remember the day he said that I made everything about the snake in my bag. Goodness. He made me look like a smart liar which is not true.

 

 

II

64. I cannot believe he did that again to me in the meeting, making me look stupid. I was just suggesting and telling my opinions. It’s been a month but I cannot still get over his egoistic personality. I was thinking that he was just taking things too personal since our first meeting. The way he told me my first assignment is really annoying. His tone is really sarcastic. I hated it. My first assignment was to go around Quezon City and observe how people deal with change in weather. I should have left 30 minutes ago but because of that arrogant Kevin, I stayed in my cubicle. Now, I’ll be caught in the traffic. Those made me worry because I am not familiar with Quezon City. I am a Makati girl. It was a good thing that there are a lot of maps available at the bookstores. I said to myself that it will be easy for me to move around because I will bring my own car. But still, I felt nervous since my sense of direction is hopeless. I prayed to God to guide me.
65. I was busy fixing the things I need to get the job done fast and correctly since I was so late. I wanted to get out of that office as soon as possible. I did not want to be under the sun all day and see my great boss. I was so preoccupied in checking my stuff that I did not mind to look where I am going. Suddenly, I bumped into someone. My things flew in the air like seagulls in the shore and I fell on the floor like a thrown sack of potatoes. Still shocked, I stood up and picked my things. It was a very embarrassing moment but I have to do my work. I had to meet my deadlines.

 

66. “I'm sorry.” I said as I fixed my things.
67. “Next time, look where you are going” the person said.
68. Goodness. It's Kevin, my boss!
69. “Sorry sir.” I said.
70. “No.” He said flatly.
71. “Sir. I did not mean it. I did not see you. I was busy fixing my things.” I sincerely said.
72. “Stop telling alibis. You cannot tell those to our clients.” he said angrily.
73. “Oh. All right sir. I'm sorry.” I thought he will send me out of the department and yell at me but I was wrong.
74.  “Come on. Let's go to your location. I'll give you a hitch.” He finally said after a long pause and stare.
75. “No thanks sir. I can manage.” I said.
76. “That's an order.”

 

77. I could not refuse. He's my boss. His orders should be followed. I want my job. I do not want to lose it. Besides, what happened between him and I should not be brought in the workplace. It's very unprofessional. During that moment, I dealt with him, no matter how painful it is to sit in his BMW’s passenger seat.
78. “What are you thinking?” He asked. He is looking at the road.
79. “Nothing.” I said flatly.
80. “Come on. You're so quiet. Tell me what you're thinking.” He insisted.
81. “I am thinking of people.” I said in a monotone.
82. “What about people? Is there someone bothering you?” He asked. He looked bothered as I glanced at him.
83. “Why on Earth are they here if all they do is ruin the world?”
84. “You’re making me laugh again.” He chuckled.
85. “Look, I’m serious. I wonder why they are complaining about the issues around them knowing the fact that they are the ones who made it possible.”
86. “You’re so preoccupied with your first assignment. Give yourself a break. Working too much is deadly. Let’s have an ice cream. I know a very good place at QC.” He gladly said. His eyes on the road.
87. “What are you doing?” I asked.
88. “What?” He asked back.
89. “Why do you act like that? When we’re in the office you’re so cold, and now, you’re another person.” I mumbled.
90. “You just can’t see the real me. You’re too anxious with what I did to you which makes you forget to see me, way back when we’re still young.” He answered quietly..
91. “Things changed. How can I see you if you’re not the real Kevin? You see, you hurt me a lot. I don’t know what I did to you for you to do that to me. It may seem to you that I am so childish but you broke my trust!” I raised my voice. My cheeks reddened.
92. “Will you listen if I’ll explain everything to you?” He asked softly.
93. I nodded.
94. “My parents told me to do something to you to make you feel miserable. They want to take revenge over your family. They told me that your father stole our money that made them decide to go to New Zealand and live there for good. I was so you and believed their story. Everything that happened to you, from the moment you saw a snake in your bag until the moment the discipline officer called me to tell the story, is smoothly planned by my parents since i told them every single detail about you when we were in school.” He explained. His voice was like he will cry anytime soon.
95. “What???? That’s absurd! My father is a great man! He will not do something like that! How could you parents say that? And how could you believe that stupid lie? I thought you’re such an intelligent man and you’ve proven me wrong!” I shouted after a long pause. “What you have said was unbelievable. I knew that my parents will not do that. They’re too good. They’re like heaven sent. Our helpers can justify it.” I said impatiently. His accusations were too much.
96. “I know. I'm really sorry. I only knew the truth when we're already at New Zealand. They told me that they did that because they do not want to lose me. That whenever I'm with you, they're threatened that you will take me away from them. They are afraid of losing their only child. I am sorry Armine. I know I hurt you a lot. I am really sorry. Will you please forgive me?”
97. “I don’t know what to say. I know, it’s been five years but the pain is still there. Of all people, why do you have to hurt me like that? After what you have told me. I don’t know if I can still work with you. I trust you a lot. I can forgive you but I can never forget what you did.”
98. “All right. But please, don’t resign. I know you love your job. That’s your way to reach your dream.” He said. He looked like he was going to cry.
99. “Will you please stop the car? I want to go home now. I will just do my activity tomorrow. And please, stop thinking about I leaving my job. I am not the kind of person who runs away from problems. I am not like other people here.” I said sarcastically.
100. “Let me take you home. I know you don’t know this place. I don’t want you to be harmed.”
101. “Don’t worry. It is nothing compared the pain you’ve caused me.” I muttered
102. “All right.” He drove quietly and swiftly.

 

103.                      As I entered my pad, I felt so helpless. I didn’t know what to do now. His revelations stressed me too much. Even a gallon of raspberry ice cream cannot help. I was confused. I did not know how and what I will react. I was torn between two opposite feelings, love and hate. I knew that it seems impossible but it’s happening to me. I wanted to go away and escape but I wanted to be near him. I wanted to see his angelic face, smell his scent, hear his very manly voice and most of all; be near him. I was desperate to be with him but whenever I see him; I remember what he did to me. If people will know the reason why I am so mad at him, they will probably laugh at me and say that I am too sensitive.

104.                      For quite some time now, I thought that I am sensitive. He asked for apology already but still, I cannot forget what he did. I could not resign. I knew that done are the days that I ran away from my problems. Facing reality is the only solution that ran in my mind, escaping is a big no-no. Living life with grudge over someone made me feel miserable and unhappy. So I said to myself that I will forget everything. I knew that it will be hard but I have to deal with it. I must deal with it, no matter how painful will it be.

 

III

105.                      After the incident, I have not seen Kevin in the office. I asked her secretary where he was because of my assignment but she said that Kevin is on leave. I thought that it was my fault but then I realized that I did nothing but tell him what I feel. I could not help peek into his office but weeks have passed and there was no Kevin in sight. I just assumed that he will be back after a month or two because of a special project.

106.                      One morning, I thought that I went to a different floor. The usual messy and noisy floor was so serene and clean that one can even meditate. I was curious. What happened to my department? Did they made some changes and I was not informed? I entered our office. It was more shocking. It was so dark. It was very suspicious looking since the Creative Department needs light. They can never start and finish their product if there is no light.

107.                      As I switched on the light, the cubicles were neatly arranged and the file cabinets were closed. And my officemates, they were so decent-looking. No one is wearing jeans and slippers. That was what I want to have as a workplace. That was what I imagined; all of my officemates will wear the proper attire. I tried to convince them before but they all disagreed. They said that they were in the “CREATIVE” department, not in the formal office. I was irritated of course but what can I do, I cannot tell them do’s and don’ts. I knew what my position in the department was. But now, all of them looked very professional. As I went near them, they were staring at me. It was very unusual since they don’t waste time staring at someone. Time is precious, as they say always. They were all busy doing their respective assignments. I became conscious because of their stares. Was my dress out of the new rules? Did I have something on my face? All kinds of thoughts ran in my mind then suddenly, Kevin’s secretary handed me a bouquet of tulips and a card. Surprised, I opened the letter and cried. It's written there “This is what you want our world to be, right? I'm giving way for your dreams. Love, Kevin”

108.                      “Where's Kevin?” I asked the secretary.

109.                      “I don't know where exactly he is. He left the moment you arrived.” She said.

110.                      “All right. Thank you.” I said while I ran towards the door. I can't let him go without saying my gratitude. I have to thank him.

111.                      “Where do you think are you going?” Someone from my back I asked. The voice was very familiar.

112.                      “Won't you thank me? Or give me a hug and kiss?” He asked jokingly.

113.                      I turned around and saw him standing beside the door. “Oh. Thank you.” I said with a smile

114.                      “That's all?” He asked again.

115.                      “Yes.” I answered.

116.                      “Are you still mad at me?” He asked as he walked towards me.

117.                      “Actually, No. I have realized that I am being too childish. I should forget it. It's been ages ago, you know. And like what the famous line in The Road by Cormac McCarthy, what you want to forget you remember and what you want to remember you forget. I guess, that’s real. It is happening to me. But I will try to make it unreal. I cannot live life like that.”

118.                      “Really??”

119.                      “Yes. But if you do not want it just say so and I'll be your annoying employee again.” I said with a wink.

120.                      “Hey! I didn't say I don't like it. So, friends?” He asked with a smile.

121.                      “Friends” I answered.

122.                      “Can I ask you something?”

123.                      “Sure, what is it?”

124.                      “Can I court you?”

125.                      “What?”

126.                      “CAN I COURT YOU?” He said loudly. My officemates began to smirk.

127.                      “Uh. Are you willing to wait for my answer?” I said.

128.                      “When are you going to answer?” He protested with a smile.

129.                      “I am not sure yet. Many things change. It’s been years and I may not be the one you initially like. You too, you may not be the one I liked before. We’re not the same as we used to.” I said. “But if you cannot wait, then don’t. I am not asking you to wait until 100 days. You’re always free to stop your foolishness.” I calmly said.

130.                      “ARMINE! It is not foolishness. I should have done this long time ago but I was such a chicken. I cannot let you go again. I’ve waited all my life just to make this day happen, just to be with you again. It is like a rebirth. A rebirth of our relationship. One more thing, I will wait.” He said seriously. “Besides, you're worth the wait.” He added with a smile.

131.                      “Correction Mr. Hernandez. You and I aren’t together. I just asked you if you’re willing to wait.” I said.

132.                      “Oh. Yes. We’re not yet together. But we’ll soon be. We’re destined for each other. After so many things that had happened, look, we’re still here.” He said confidently, emphasizing the word yet.

133.                      “You’re cheesy. Do you know that?” I said.

134.                      “I am not!” he immediately denied.

135.                      “You are.” I jokingly said

136.                      “Am not” He insisted.

137.                      “You are.”

138.                      “Am not.”

139.                      “Whatever Kevin. I have to go now. I need to finish my task. It’s due on Friday. Thanks again for your surprise.” I said, grabbing my stuff. “Oh, by the way, we’ll see how far you can reach.” I winked.

140.                      “Wait. Let me take you there.” He ran after me. “I’ll reach the finish line with you. No matter what it takes.” He said, smiling at me.

 

THE END