Moving Forward

This is my last letter to him. I sent it yesterday [031709] via e-mail. He replied with an SMS this morning [evening there] since his monitor is not yet fixed and more alibis. I appreciated his reply but it's now time to let go.

I didnt edit the content of this letter. I only edited our names here. But for those who know our story, you know who is the person I love the most. The one I'm letting go. 

I just want to share this. Many of friends are telling me to MOVE ON and I am doing it now. I think, this will help. In what way? I have no idea. I am just sure that after this letter, there's no turning back. 

Today is a supposed-to-be-third-year-anniversary day. A supposed-to-be-HIM-and-I day. A supposed-to-be-happy day. Only supposed-to-be's, not reality.

Honestly, I am finding it hard to move one because I want to hold you. I want to keep you. I dont want anybody else but you. But it in our case right now, it's very impossible.

You know what, this is harder than expected. But I agree with you when you decided that we're better off this way so I must deal with this, right? No one is to be blame because we both agreed on this. You didnt insist.

After this day, I'll stop hoping than you and I will be together again. Hoping makes me want to always ask if you're ok. I will just annoy you with my comments and SMSs. I am fully letting you go. I'll pick up the pieces again to make me feel that I am complete even without you.

I know, that will be hard. It is hard to forget the person I loved for more than three years, and will always love. But I have to. I need to, so that you can move forward, not worrying about what I will feel, about me. 

 

This is the hardest decision I have ever made because I know, I will lose the person I love the most. But like what I have said, I have to even if it is against my will. Even if it will hurt me a lot.

 

Let me tell you this for the very last time HIM.

I love you so much baby. Thank you for being a part of me. Thanks a bunch. I have always appreciated you and will always do. I apologize for all the things that made you sad, irritated, angry, frustrated. Ingat, ok? I am always here. I love you.

This is hard you know. I am trying not to cry while I am typing this but the tears kept on falling. Stupid tear glands. Have a nice day HIM Until we meet again.