It's over

i am really stupid. i am god damned stupid. damn it.

after what i did. after what happened. i just realized that i really can't let him go. i can live without him but it would be better if he's around. i am not dependent to him but it is not the same without him. 

this is because of my impulsiveness. miscommunication. if only we talked. hay.

 stupid armine.

 i love him. i lost him. i know he will not come back anymore. i know he wouldn't. he's tired. he has been hurt many times. catstrophe's too much.. i should have known. darn. i lost the guy i really want to be with. 

i tried to replace him but it's really him. he is irreplaceable. no matter how hard i try. it's him that i choose. it's him that i want. i love him so much. i really do. shit min. this is the end. i cannot ask him to come back. i tried earlier but he did not respond. it only means one thing. it's over. it's really over. damn it. well. no one's to be blame but me. i gave up. i gave up on us and now i'm regretting things. goddamnit. my temper got me into trouble.

this is too much. i wanted to move on but i can't i dare not to. i wouldn't.

but.

I HAVE TO.